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Wilson Mizner

"Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton."

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"Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton."

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Akiroq Brost

"In Hollywood today, it's cool for guys to wear nail polish and earrings in their lips and tongues. I don't get it."

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Akiroq Brost

"I live on this nice three acres in Hollywood."

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Akiroq Brost

"I spoke to my agent and learned that a Hollywood scout had seen my proposal in one of the publishing houses, and had faxed it to Hollywood, where it was generating a lot of interest."

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Akiroq Brost

"It seems the farther away we are from Hollywood, the better the ratings."

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Akiroq Brost

"This is the place to see the stars - Hollywood Bowl."

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Akiroq Brost

"After I got to Hollywood, I resented that I didn't get a crack at more dramatic roles because I photographed so beautifully."

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Akiroq Brost

"And I wasn't crazy about Hollywood in those days."

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Akiroq Brost

"My parents kept us sheltered from this world of Hollywood. I don't have any great memories of bouncing on Cary Grant's knee or something like that."

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Akiroq Brost

"I started off as a studio pianist in Hollywood."

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Akiroq Brost

"Plastic surgery is like a big elephant sitting in the Hollywood living room."

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Wilson Mizner
"The first hundred years are the hardest."
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Wilson Mizner
"Most hard-boiled people are half-baked."
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Wilson Mizner
"The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away."
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Wilson Mizner
"I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own."
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Wilson Mizner
"Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished."
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Wilson Mizner
"The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in."
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Wilson Mizner
"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education."
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Wilson Mizner
"The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears."
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Wilson Mizner
"I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'"
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Wilson Mizner
"Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down."
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