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Ambrose Bierce

"Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion."

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"Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion."

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Asa Don Brown

"A satirist that criticizes religion is seen as a satanist."

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Asa Don Brown

"Most priests wish they were as righteous as they seem to most members of their congregations."

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Asa Don Brown

"Only the Prince of Peace gives peace."

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Asa Don Brown

"There is a heroism in crime as well as in virtue. Vice and infamy have their altars and their religion."

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Asa Don Brown

"There was only one guy in the whole Bible Jesus ever personally promised a place with him in Paradise. Not Peter, not Paul, not any of those guys. He was a convicted thief, being executed. So don't knock the guys on death row. Maybe they know something you don't."

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Asa Don Brown

"A Unitarian very earnestly disbelieves what everyone else believes."

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Asa Don Brown

"A universe with a God would look quite different from a universe without one. A physics, a biology where there is a God is bound to look different. So the most basic claims of religion are scientific. Religion is a scientific theory."

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Asa Don Brown

"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."

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Asa Don Brown

"Keep your hope in the Lord."

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Asa Don Brown

"Religion is a cultural relic inherited from ancient civilizations that doctrinal influence persists globally in modern times. Religious people rely upon their notional belief in the primal innocence of human beings in order to support the abstract supposition of inherently benevolent God guiding human souls."

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Ambrose Bierce
"Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized."
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Ambrose Bierce
"I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing."
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