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"Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar."
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"America is now wholly given over to a damned mob of scribbling women, and I should have no chance of success while the public taste is occupied with their trash--and should be ashamed of myself if I did succeed. What is the mystery of these innumberable editions of The Lamplighter (by Maria Susanna Cummins), and other books neither better nor worse? Worse they could not be, and better they need not be, when they sell by the hundred thousand."
"America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there."
"Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected."
"In 1860 a total eclipse of the sun was visible in British America."
Explore more quotes by Billy Crystal
"Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar."
"Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising."
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