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"I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens."
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"Would Hamlet have felt the delicious fascination of suicide if he hadn't had an audience, and lines to speak?"
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Personal Development
"Nine men in ten are would be suicides."
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Personal Development
"Here in the bathroom with me are razor blades. Here is iodine to drink. Here are sleeping pills to swallow. You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you reenlist."
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Personal Development
"Not everyone who has killed themselves because they were HIV positive would have been killed by AIDS."
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Personal Development
"I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens."
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Personal Development
"I do not have a problem with people killing themselves, as long as they took at least a hundred years to think about what they are about to do."
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Personal Development
"Self-slaughter is an extravagant enactment of feeling sorry for oneself. Suicide is stingy act, because no matter how wretched our life may currently be, a person can always rise tomorrow and perform some small act of kindness for other people, care for a pet, or perform some other caring act that works towards preserving nature's graciousness. To die of their own hand is to cheat other people and shortchange Mother Nature; it is taking without giving back in kind. What combats suicide is a sense of gratitude, a willingness to give to other people, and to cease living life as a taker. Without a profound appreciation for all that is living and devoid of a sincere willingness to contribute to the flourishing of all life forms, one can callously write off the value of their own life."
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"But of course it's always gonna be Suicide, our fingerprints, ya know? You can't ever get rid of that."
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Personal Development
"The Israelis have suffered a great deal, we must condemn suicide bombers, and we must never say that the plight of the Palestinians justifies this terrible thing."
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"I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it."
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"Carrot Top... I gave him advice once and he ran with it. He should thank me."
Advice
"I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens."
Suicide
"Red Skelton... I broke into tears when I met him."
Tears
"Because someone stole Gregory Peck's star on Hollywood Blvd., I have hired a Brink's guard to protect my star!"
Hollywood
"Marty Richards is an angel on Earth. A producer that does what he says he'll do. He helped me greatly."
Earth
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