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"I've just finished my next collection, Possible Side Effects, and I'm now working on a collection of holiday stories as well as a memoir about my relationship with my father."
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"There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it."

"I tell you, families are definitely the training ground for forgiveness."

"Don't say negative things about your spouse and children."
Explore more quotes by Augusten Burroughs

"I can't tell you how much I love Target and Costco, that kind of culture, because it's something I never felt a part of. I've always felt like a tourist because I have never fit in anywhere."

"I like, though, that people have a hunger to connect with other people. They're desperate to know that you're not lying to them or misleading them."

"I was on the cover of a lot of newspapers. I was on the cover of USA Today for every single day for a month. I was on the masthead, so I tend to get recognized a lot, and in weird places. It's always flattering, and it's always odd. It's always at the worst possible time."

"Because I've lived in one room my entire life, working at the same table that you use to pay bills at and eat at. It's going to be nice to have actual space."

"I knew that if I wrote a new book every six months or every year, if I continued to read great books, eventually I would write something worthy of publication. I understood I might be in my forties or my fifties or even my sixties, but I felt confident that it would happen."

"With my own memoirs, they are truthful, and I write everything fully expecting to some day end up televised on Court TV, and I'm fully prepared to be challenged legally on it."

"I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways."
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