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"It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya."
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Exlpore more Reality quotes
"I claim not to have controlled events but confess plainly that events have controlled me."
"The real world is oftentimes different from what you expect it to be, what you think it to be, and what people might say it to be."
"A fool or idiot is one who expects things to happen that never can happen."
"But, Henry, this is wicked!' But, Adam, the world is wicked. Maoris prey on Moriori, Whites prey on darker-hued cousins, fleas prey on mice, cats prey on rats, Christians on infidels, first mates on cabin boys, Death on the Living. 'The weak are meat, the strong do eat."
"It's more real to me here than if I went up," he suddenly heard himself say; and the fear lest that last shadow of reality should lose its edge kept him rooted to his seat as the minutes succeeded each other."
"Some people think the stars must look closer from up here. They don't. When you're up here, you realize how distant they really are-how impossible to reach."
Explore more quotes by George Carlin
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
"As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up."
"What do dogs do on their day off?, Can't lie around " that's their job!"
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