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Augusten Burroughs

"My parents had this relationship that was really terrifying. I mean, the level of hatred that they had, and the level of physical abuse - my mother would beat up my father, basically - and I think I was drawn to images on television that were bright and reflective."

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"My parents had this relationship that was really terrifying. I mean, the level of hatred that they had, and the level of physical abuse - my mother would beat up my father, basically - and I think I was drawn to images on television that were bright and reflective."

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"Some men do not know the father of 'their' children."

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"We Lannisters do have a certain pride," said Tyrion Lannister."Pride? Catelyn snapped. His mocking tone and easy manner made her angry. "Arrogance, some might call it. Arrogance and avarice and lust for power."My brother is undoubtedly arrogant, Tyrion Lannister replied. "My father is the soul of avarice, and my sweet sister Cersei lusts for power with every waking breath. I, however, am innocent as a little lamb. Shall I bleat for you? He grinned."

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"Never give up your wife, husband, children and families. Believe that people can change. Give others opportunity to change."

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"Many families remain for years in the same place, though both husband and wife are sick of it, simply because there is neither complete division nor agreement between them."

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"It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor."

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"Blessed is the womb that born you."

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"Until now, you have always lived your life alone. Every decision you've made has been for you and you alone. Now, and for the rest of your days, your life will be tied to another's. Every decision you make will be for both of you. What one does affects the other. You are a family, a team inseparable and unbreakable."

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"A rubber plant is just about the ideal family."

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Augusten Burroughs
"I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways."
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Augusten Burroughs
"And I tend to listen to NPR when I'm not writing."
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Augusten Burroughs
"I was in advertising for years. That was cushy, you know? It's pretty cushy in a lot of ways, but I hated it."
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Augusten Burroughs
"Before I'm a writer, I'm definitely a reader and when I read memoir, I really want it to be true."
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Augusten Burroughs
"I never listen to music when I write."
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Augusten Burroughs
"My parents had this relationship that was really terrifying. I mean, the level of hatred that they had, and the level of physical abuse - my mother would beat up my father, basically - and I think I was drawn to images on television that were bright and reflective."
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Augusten Burroughs
"I like, though, that people have a hunger to connect with other people. They're desperate to know that you're not lying to them or misleading them."
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Augusten Burroughs
"I can't tell you how much I love Target and Costco, that kind of culture, because it's something I never felt a part of. I've always felt like a tourist because I have never fit in anywhere."
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Augusten Burroughs
"The secret to being a writer is that you have to write. It's not enough to think about writing or to study literature or plan a future life as an author. You really have to lock yourself away, alone, and get to work."
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Augusten Burroughs
"I've just finished my next collection, Possible Side Effects, and I'm now working on a collection of holiday stories as well as a memoir about my relationship with my father."
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