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"My parents had this relationship that was really terrifying. I mean, the level of hatred that they had, and the level of physical abuse - my mother would beat up my father, basically - and I think I was drawn to images on television that were bright and reflective."
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"Mothers care in volumes of tears and earnestness of prayers and a depth of emotion others cannot fathom."

"Some men do not know the father of 'their' children."

"We Lannisters do have a certain pride," said Tyrion Lannister."Pride? Catelyn snapped. His mocking tone and easy manner made her angry. "Arrogance, some might call it. Arrogance and avarice and lust for power."My brother is undoubtedly arrogant, Tyrion Lannister replied. "My father is the soul of avarice, and my sweet sister Cersei lusts for power with every waking breath. I, however, am innocent as a little lamb. Shall I bleat for you? He grinned."

"Until now, you have always lived your life alone. Every decision you've made has been for you and you alone. Now, and for the rest of your days, your life will be tied to another's. Every decision you make will be for both of you. What one does affects the other. You are a family, a team inseparable and unbreakable."

"A rubber plant is just about the ideal family."
Explore more quotes by Augusten Burroughs

"I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways."

"I was in advertising for years. That was cushy, you know? It's pretty cushy in a lot of ways, but I hated it."

"Before I'm a writer, I'm definitely a reader and when I read memoir, I really want it to be true."

"My parents had this relationship that was really terrifying. I mean, the level of hatred that they had, and the level of physical abuse - my mother would beat up my father, basically - and I think I was drawn to images on television that were bright and reflective."

"I like, though, that people have a hunger to connect with other people. They're desperate to know that you're not lying to them or misleading them."

"I can't tell you how much I love Target and Costco, that kind of culture, because it's something I never felt a part of. I've always felt like a tourist because I have never fit in anywhere."

"The secret to being a writer is that you have to write. It's not enough to think about writing or to study literature or plan a future life as an author. You really have to lock yourself away, alone, and get to work."

"I've just finished my next collection, Possible Side Effects, and I'm now working on a collection of holiday stories as well as a memoir about my relationship with my father."
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