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"The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs."
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"Determining to read through your Bible is a decision only you can make."
"I've read the last page of the Bible. It's all going to turn out all right."
"We gather for prayer, and reading the Bible, and singing the songs of David."
"No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means."
"If you look at the Bible almost everything that was predicted, maybe everything, has come to pass."
"The Bible says that two cannot walk together unless they are agreed."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher
"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."
"The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right."
"We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists."
"I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed."
"This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution."
"A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out."
"To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that."
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