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"New Rule: Stop putting psychedelic screensavers on computers. I sit down to check my e-mail, and the next thing I know it's three days later, I'm in the desert, I'm banging on a drum, I'm naked, and somebody's pierced my dick."
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"Irony is a clear consciousness of an eternal agility, of the infinitely abundant chaos."
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Personal Development

"They (who by their very nature are impatient) fling themselves at each other when love takes hold of them, they scatter themselves, just as they are, in all their messiness, disorder, bewilderment. And what can happen then? What can life do with this heap of half-broken things that they call their communion and that they would like to call their happiness, if that were possible, and their future? And so each of them loses himself for the sake of the other person, and loses the other, and many others who still wanted to come."
Author Name
Personal Development

"My poetry doesn't change from place to place - it changes with the years. It's very important to be one's age. You get ideas you have to turn down - 'I'm sorry no longer' 'I'm sorry not yet.'"
Author Name
Personal Development

"I was coming to see the heavier your heart got, the strongest you had to be to keep carrying it around."
Author Name
Personal Development

"All hell broke loose."
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Personal Development

"Generality is, indeed, an indispensable ingredient of reality; for mere individual existence or actuality without any regularity whatever is a nullity. Chaos is pure nothing."
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Personal Development

"The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one."
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Personal Development

"What we call chaos is just patterns we haven't recognized. What we call random is just patterns we can't decipher."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I unlocked the deadbolt and flung the door open, stepping back for Gabby to see exactly who it was. 'Hello, Sara, I greeted.A bubble of laughter escaped Gabby before she could contain it. 'Yes, hello ex-girlfriend Sara. And might I add: law-breaker? Who let you out of your cage? Don't you know Joseph has a restraining order against you?"
Author Name
Personal Development

"Chaos and destruction do tend to take away a person's dating possibilities."
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Personal Development
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"A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out."
Drugs

"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."
People

"What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country."
Woman

"I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?"
Country

"New Rule: Americans have to come up with a better cheese to represent the nation than American cheese. I'm not even sure American cheese is cheese. I think it's aged Jell-O. And it doesn't need to be individually wrapped in plastic, either. You're thinking of condoms."
Humor

"I don't respect thinking that is dangerous, prejudicial, childish, and could get me killed."
Ethics

"Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?"
Home

"This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air."
June

"If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod."
Creativity

"You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash."
Nature
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