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"I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine."
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"Each "way of thinking" has its own shape and color, which wax and wane like the moon."

"Last season when things weren't working out, I thought we needed a different voice around the place."

"But I never, never thought of the ministry nor did - of course, television when I was growing up, there was no television. So I didn't know anything about it."

"We seldom find people ungrateful so long as it is thought we can serve them."

"Our Creator would never have made such lovely days, and have given us the deep hearts to enjoy them, above and beyond all thought, unless we were meant to be immortal."
Explore more quotes by Spike Milligan


"And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected."


"I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke."
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