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"I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine."
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"We are what we think."
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"Think of what you desire out of life."
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"Who I am? Am I thinking?"
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"While I do not suggest that humanity will ever be able to dispense with its martyrs, I cannot avoid the suspicion that with a little more thought and a little less belief their number may be substantially reduced."
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Personal Development
"Most people don't think most of the time. They just use other people's thoughts as a crutch to get by."
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"The profoundest thoughts of the philosophers have something trickle about them. A lot disappears in order for something to suddenly appear in the palm of the hand."
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"I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right."
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Personal Development
"It is too ordinary for us to think we are too ordinary. It is too unwise for us to think we are too wise. It is too sinful for us to think we are too sinful beyond pardon. It would be too unrighteous for us to think we are too righteous. There is always something we may think about, but let us think about something!"
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Personal Development
"But I owe it to the subject to say, that it has long afforded me what philosophy is so often thought, and made, barren of - the fun of discovery, the pleasures of co-operation, and the satisfaction of reaching agreement."
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Personal Development
"I've often reflected on this in the past weeks as I've been following the presidential campaign: Very often, I thought it would have been great for both of these guys to sit down and be force-fed a couple of dozen episodes of Star Trek."
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Explore more quotes by Spike Milligan
"And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected."
God
"I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine."
Thought
"I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke."
Singing
"All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy."
Money
"For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string."
Years
"Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy."
Money
"I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge."
Body
"How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven."
Army
"Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery."
Happiness
"I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens."
Dying
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