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Jasper Fforde

"Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then - and this is the important bit - do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies."

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"Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then - and this is the important bit - do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies."

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Akiroq Brost

"Confronting a liar makes a better liar."

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Akiroq Brost

"Any halfway clever devil would decorate the highway to Hell as beautiful as possible."

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Akiroq Brost

"We hide our demons so good, that the angels we show, bare the shame on their faces."

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Akiroq Brost

"One of the crafty tricks Satan plays is to guide a person safely on the wrong path. When your safety is the priority, you may be on the wrong path but may not know."

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Akiroq Brost

"The best lies are seasoned with a bit of truth."

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Akiroq Brost

"There are some frauds so well conducted that it would be stupidity not to be deceived by them."

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Akiroq Brost

"A technicality I'm prepared to hide wildly behind."

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Akiroq Brost

"You can trust bad liars."

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Akiroq Brost

"But men are bound to saySome things that, though untrue,Will get you down the aisleUntil you say "I do."

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Akiroq Brost

"What would you think if I told you that I wasn't an Allomancer? Sazed asked."I'd think that you were lying, Vin said."Have you known me to lie before?"The best liars are those who tell the truth most of the time."

Explore more quotes by Jasper Fforde

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Jasper Fforde
"Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence."
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Jasper Fforde
"Pretty?' I said, swivelling in the driver's seat to face him, 'you want to ask me out because I'm pretty?' 'Is there a problem with asking you out because you're pretty?' 'I think you blew it,' said Tiger with a grin. 'You should be asking her out because she's smart, witty, mature beyond her years and every moment in her company makes you want to be a better person - pretty of face should be at the bottom of the list.' 'Oh, blast,' said Perkins despondently. 'It should, shouldn't it?"
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Jasper Fforde
"PDR: Persons of Dubious Reality; refugees from the collective consciousness. Uninvited visitors who have fallen through the grating that divides the real, from the written. They arrive with their actions hardwired due to their repetitious existence and the older and more basic they are, the more rigidly they stick to them. Characters from cautionary tales are particularly mindless; they do what they do because it's what they've always done.And it's our job to stop them."
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Jasper Fforde
"Now and again. Good residency is about having the power to ask someone to do something, but not necessarily exercising it."
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Jasper Fforde
"I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!"
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Jasper Fforde
"Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world."
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Jasper Fforde
"Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse."
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Jasper Fforde
"Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable."
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Jasper Fforde
"Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one."
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Jasper Fforde
"Prices of semicolons, plot devices, prologues and inciting incidents continued to fall yesterday, lopping twenty points off the TomJones Index."
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