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"I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up."
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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

"How long most people would look at the best book before they would give the price of a large turbot for it?"

"I find that most people know what a story is until they sit down to write one."

"You've got to clock the hours and pay your dues. Then eventually, people will come to you. You have to be patient and appreciative."

"Intellectuals are people who believe that ideas are of more importance than values. That is to say, their own ideas and other people's values."

"We were too young to know better, and none of us were very aggressive people. It would have helped a lot if just one of us had been aggressive enough to say no."
Explore more quotes by Tom Lehrer


"On my income tax 1040 it says "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away."


"The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability."


"Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes not only in solving problems, but also in anticipating them."


"I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up."
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