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"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."
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"Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column."

"While there is a chance of the world getting through its troubles, I hold that a reasonable man has to behave as though he were sure of it. If at the end your cheerfulness in not justified, at any rate you will have been cheerful."
Explore more quotes by Andy Rooney

"The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men."

"Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of."

"Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt."

"When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper."

"Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads."

"The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough."

"People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe."
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