"So the first thing we're gonna do," I told him, "is push you off the roof."

Humor, Violence, Action, Strategy

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"So the first thing we're gonna do," I told him, "is push you off the roof."

Explore more quotes by James Patterson

"The vampire underworld is much larger than most people could imagine. It exists in all the cities mentioned in the book, but also in many, many more. Teenagers, especially, seem to like to act out vampire fantasies."

People, Act, Cities, Teenagers

"I grew up in a house full of women: my mother, grandmother, three sisters, and two female cats. And I still have the buzz of their conversations in my head. As an adult, I have more female friends than male ones: I just love the way that women talk."

Friendship, Love, Women, Mother, Cats

"I did know that the book would end with a mind-boggling trial, but I didn't know exactly how it would turn out. I like a little suspense when I am writing, too."

Writing, End, Mind, Suspense

"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."

Humor, Food, Playfulness, Joy

"Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice."

Character, Personality, Behavior, Choice, Humor

"He [Iggy] started reaching for things around the table, and his hand landed on Total. "You're black."I prefer canine-American, said Total."

Humor, Identity, Race, Observation

"Let's face it: Most of us don't realize it, but we are failing our kids as reading role models. The best role models are in the home: brothers, fathers, grandfathers; mothers, sisters, grandmothers. Moms and dads, it's important that your kids see you reading. Not just books - reading the newspaper is good, too."

Education, Reading, Family, Influence

"I want to be able to see stuff," Iggy said. "Like I used to, when I was little. And I want to be able to totally kick Jeb's butt."

Inspirational, Vision, Childhood, Observation, Desire

"I never miss a good chance to shut up."

Wisdom, Silence, Prudence, Observation, Discretion

"I read some, and then visited with people involved in this curious, exciting and somewhat misunderstood sub-culture. I met with a fang maker, who offered to fit me for an exquisite pair."

People,

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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Humor, Tragedy, Perspective, Emotion

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"What do you think they're going to do to us when they find us guilty?" she says after a few minutes of silence have passed."Honestly?""Does now seem like the time for honesty?"I look at her from the corner of my eye. "I think they're going to force us to eat lots of cake and then take an unreasonably long nap."

Veronica Roth, American Author

Humor, Fear, Judgment, Irony

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun." -"I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to see the numbers at the moment."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Happiness, Today, Wisdom

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology