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"Humor is such a wonderful thing, helping you realize what a fool you are but how beautiful that is at the same time."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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Personal Development

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."
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Personal Development

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"
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Personal Development

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."
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Personal Development

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
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Personal Development

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."
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Personal Development

"Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like ared flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front ofsomeone who was annoyed by it."
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Personal Development

"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
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Personal Development

"Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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Personal Development

"Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."
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Personal Development
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"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke."
Love

"People think that whatever I put into strips has happened to me in my life."
Life

"There was a beautiful time in the beginning when I just did it and didn't analyze the consequences, but I think that time ends in everyone's work."
Time

"I do dumb stuff, like playing my favorite dumb Barry White song and lip-synching into the mirror so it looks like his voice is coming out of my mouth."
Dumb

"I need to be cheered up a lot. I think funny people are people who need to be cheered up."
Funny

"If I had had me for a student I would have thrown me out of class immediately."
Class

"I started doing cartoons when I was about 21. I never thought I would be a cartoonist. It happened behind my back. I was always a painter and drawer."
Thought

"Cartoonist was the weirdest name I finally let myself have. I would never say it. When I heard it I silently thought, what an awful word."
Thought

"Humor is such a wonderful thing, helping you realize what a fool you are but how beautiful that is at the same time."
Humor

"I used to live a very social life and never spend much solitary time looking at birds or reading."
Life
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