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"Humor is such a wonderful thing, helping you realize what a fool you are but how beautiful that is at the same time."
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"Laughter can deflate almost any problem down to its proper size."
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Personal Development


"The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives."
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Personal Development


"The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat:If you offer him pheasant he would rather have grouse.If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat,If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house.If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat,If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse.Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat -And there isn't any call for me to shout it:For he will doAs he do doAnd there's no doing anything about it!"
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"When you're lost in space, it's time to buy some new furniture!"
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Personal Development


"If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd."
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Personal Development


"For a man seldom thinks with more earnestness of anything than he does of his dinner."
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"It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad."
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Personal Development


"You won't enjoy it," sighed Crowley. "It's been in the car for more than a fortnight." A heavy bass beat began to thump through the Bentley as they sped past Heathrow. Aziraphale's brow furrowed. "I don't recognize this," he said. "What is it?" "It's Tchaikovsky's 'Another One Bites the Dust'," said Crowley, closing his eyes as they went through Slough. To while away the time as they crossed the sleeping Chilterns, they also listened to William Byrd's "We Are the Champions" and Beethoven's "I Want To Break Free." Neither were as good as Vaughan Williams's "Fat-Bottomed Girls."
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"Texan starting eternity: I never dreamed heaven would be so much like Texas. companion: Who said this was heaven?"
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Personal Development


"How hard can writing be? After all, most of the words are going to be 'and,' 'the,' and 'I,' and 'it,' and so on, and there's a huge number to choose from, so a lot of the work has been done for you."
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"I've gotten a lot of livid letters about the awfulness of my work. I've never known what to make of it. Why do people bother to write if they hate what I do?"
Work

"I started doing cartoons when I was about 21. I never thought I would be a cartoonist. It happened behind my back. I was always a painter and drawer."
Thought

"Remember how you used to be able to feel your bed breathing and the walls spinning when you were a kid?"
Bed

"People think that whatever I put into strips has happened to me in my life."
Life

"If I didn't try to eavesdrop on every bus ride I take or look for the humor when I go for a walk, I would just be depressed all the time."
Humor

"If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile."
Love

"I was unable to sleep and I would stay up and draw these little cartoons. Then a friend showed them around. Before I knew it I was a cartoonist."
Friendship

"There was a beautiful time in the beginning when I just did it and didn't analyze the consequences, but I think that time ends in everyone's work."
Time

"I listen like mad to any conversation taking place next to me just trying to hear why this is funny. Women's restrooms are especially great. I wash my hands twice waiting for people to come in and start talking."
Funny

"Humor is such a wonderful thing, helping you realize what a fool you are but how beautiful that is at the same time."
Humor
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