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"The bile makes it better. I am an information wasting machine - 100s of words a day."
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"As a performer you are being used to keep people watching so the commercial endorsements that support the network can be seen by as many people as possible."

"It seems people are more willing to let other people control their minds now and recreational drug use doesn't seem to have that same renegade sense of adventure that it once did."

"Have you ever had one of those moments when you look up and realize that you're one of those people you see on the train talking to themselves?"

"The demand for standup in the eighties was created by how easy it was to exploit 'comedians' and create very cheap television programming."

"The Internet has usurped the collective unconscious and access to cosmic consciousness has become difficult and almost primitive."
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"Let us develop the resources of our land, call forth its powers, build up its institutions, promote all its great interests, and see whether we also, in our day and generation, may not perform something worthy to be remembered."

"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
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"Miserable is a good thing, though. If you start the day miserable, nobody else can screw up your day."
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