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"Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going."
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"I started working around eigth grade. I remember doing a Doritos commercial where there were four days in a row of eating them, and I will tell you, I have not eaten many Doritos since."
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Personal Development
"I can't walk by chocolate without eating it."
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Personal Development
"You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar."
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Personal Development
"You get so weak from eating pears that you fall down, and then they come and take you away on a stretcher."
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Personal Development
"I was not created to be occupied by eating delicious foods like tied up cattle."
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Personal Development
"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Dinner was made for eating, not for talking."
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Personal Development
"I've done the Rolling Stones eating each other."
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"I love Costas. He's knows too much, but he's a good guy."
Love
"Men don't hear women."
Men
"If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you."
Deep
"I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me."
People
"Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it."
Being
"I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance."
Chance
"It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people."
Government
"I always want to go back and do stand-up; I like the freedom."
Freedom
"But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking."
Men
"I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place."
Being
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