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Billy Connolly

"If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?"

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"If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?"

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Akshay Vasu

"I've been playing with Blackwell over 20 years. We used to play when I first went to Los Angeles. Blackwell plays the drums as if he's playing a wind instrument. Actually, he sounds more like a talking drum."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"We were engaged three-and-a-half weeks after the first date."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"At synods, I usually wait about a week before I speak. First I listen. I feel the temperature. I listen to what has been said, what has not been said, and what I think needs to be said at that point."

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Akshay Vasu

"When I first see the dailies, I look only at myself, but then you start to see the scene."

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Akshay Vasu

"Families are the Nurseries of all Societies; and the First combinations of mankind."

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Akshay Vasu

"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe."

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Akshay Vasu

"The first 12-string guitar I bought was probably around 1957."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"I always begin to compose the melody first."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"My first encounter with a Kelly was not on a musical scale. It was from primary school. Dave and I went to primary school together and we were like boy scouts."

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Akshay Vasu

"My first record came out in 1961 and then I had one come out in 1962 and then I had two that came out in 1964."

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Billy Connolly
"I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days."

Love

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Billy Connolly
"I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little."

People

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Billy Connolly
"I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless."

Word

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Billy Connolly
"I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be."

Imagination

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Billy Connolly
"Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet."

Being

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Billy Connolly
"Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on."

Trust

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Billy Connolly
"I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered."

People

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Billy Connolly
"If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?"

First

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Billy Connolly
"My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger."

Thinking

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Billy Connolly
"I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far."

Angels

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