"If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?"

First, Name

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"If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?"

Exlpore more First quotes

"The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason."

John Cage, American Composer

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"First of all, you have to understand that I'm like anybody else. When I hear my voice on a record I absolutely loathe my voice. I cannot stand my voice."

Roger Daltrey, English Musician

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"After the first exams, I switched to the Faculty of Philosophy and studied Zoology in Munich and Vienna."

Karl von Frisch, Austrian Scientist

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"Illusion is the first of all pleasures."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

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"There is no formula to it. Writing every song is a little journey. The first note has to lift you."

Enya, Irish Musician

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"My first encounter with a Kelly was not on a musical scale. It was from primary school. Dave and I went to primary school together and we were like boy scouts."

Wayne Wonder, Jamaican Musician

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"When I first started in rock, I had a big guy's audience for my early records. I had a very straight image, particularly through the mid '80s."

Bruce Springsteen, American Musician

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"It is of first-class importance that our answer to the Riddle of the Sphinx should be in step with how we conduct our civilisation, and this should in turn be in step with the actual workings of living systems."

Gregory Bateson, British Scientist

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"So in the sense that we were all dealing with that freer approach, yes, it was certainly one of the first contacts, perhaps the first contact, when Peter came that summer. So it's a very pivotal moment that is documented there."

Evan Parker, British Musician

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"What is there to be afraid of? The worst thing that can happen is you fail. So what? I failed at a lot of things. My first record was horrible."

John Mellencamp, American Musician

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Explore more quotes by Billy Connolly

"Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet."

Being

"The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know."

Love

"Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on."

Trust

"It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things."

God

"I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do."

God

"I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far."

Angels

"I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little."

People

"My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger."

Thinking

"There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter."

June

"My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo."

Pet