"If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?"

First, Name

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"If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?"

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Explore more quotes by Billy Connolly

"I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little."

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"Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet."

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"The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know."

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"I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far."

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"Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit."

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"My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo."

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"My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger."

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"I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do."

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