"If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?"

First, Name

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"If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?"

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"The first year I was on the show, it took an interviewer about 45 minutes to get it out of me that I even had a dog, and even then I wouldn't tell him the dog's name."

David Hyde Pierce, American Actor

First, Name

"I had been warned not to get on a motorcycle, sort of. I think there is a clause in most general basic contracts to keep yourself in one piece and not alter your looks without telling them first."

Charisma Carpenter, American Actress

First,

"If the destination is heaven, why do we scramble to be first in line for hell?"

Douglas Horton, American Clergyman

First, Heaven, Hell

"But, I didn't get my first break until I was 17."

Stephen Dorff, American Actor

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"The first hundred years are the hardest."

Wilson Mizner, American Dramatist

First, Years

"The first album is a classic record and I think the prototype of a sound that no one else does."

Kathy Valentine, American Musician

First, Sound

"There was this thing written that I had gone into a candle store, and my hair went up in flames because of all the hair spray. First of all, I never have hair spray in my hair, and I've never even heard of this store, and my hair has never been burned."

Nicolette Sheridan, British Actress

First, Hair

"First of all, I only get 50 percent of it, because, I mean, the galleries get 50 and 60 percent. I mean, that's normal. I understand that. I don't quarrel with that."

Anthony Quinn, Mexican Actor

First, Quarrel

"If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone."

Lenny Bruce, American Comedian

First,

"Such a structure would also raise a number of problems: first of all, which Timorese to pay compensation to? It would open a can of worms in terms of who was really a victim and who was not."

Jose Ramos Horta, East Timorese Politician

First, Open

Explore more quotes by Billy Connolly

"I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives."

Army

"Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on."

Trust

"I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be."

Imagination

"The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know."

Love

"I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do."

God

"I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little."

People

"I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered."

People

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Exlpore more First quotes

"The first year I was on the show, it took an interviewer about 45 minutes to get it out of me that I even had a dog, and even then I wouldn't tell him the dog's name."

"I had been warned not to get on a motorcycle, sort of. I think there is a clause in most general basic contracts to keep yourself in one piece and not alter your looks without telling them first."

"If the destination is heaven, why do we scramble to be first in line for hell?"

"But, I didn't get my first break until I was 17."

"The first hundred years are the hardest."

"The first album is a classic record and I think the prototype of a sound that no one else does."

"There was this thing written that I had gone into a candle store, and my hair went up in flames because of all the hair spray. First of all, I never have hair spray in my hair, and I've never even heard of this store, and my hair has never been burned."

"First of all, I only get 50 percent of it, because, I mean, the galleries get 50 and 60 percent. I mean, that's normal. I understand that. I don't quarrel with that."

"If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone."

"Such a structure would also raise a number of problems: first of all, which Timorese to pay compensation to? It would open a can of worms in terms of who was really a victim and who was not."

Explore more quotes by Billy Connolly

"I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives."

"Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on."

"I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be."

"The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know."

"I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do."

"I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little."

"I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered."

"My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo."

"There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter."

"Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit."