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"If one door closes and another door opens, chances are your house is haunted."
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"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."
"I wasn't sure what was worse: being oblivious or living within reality. (Eric)"
"I should curl up in a ball and cry. Instead i think about everything in the whole entire world that makes me angry - There is a lot, oh, there is a lot - and I start singing Justin Bieber at the top of my lungs."
"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."
"Ah, hell.His peripheral vision was working far too well tonight.His slut of a cousin, his cocksucking, suit-wearing, Montblanc-up-the-ass cousin Saxton the Magnificent, was standing next to the queen, looking like a combination of Cary Grant and some model in a goddamn cologne ad.Not that Qhuinn was bitter.Because the guy was sharing Blay's bed.Nah.Nope. Not at all.The Cocksucker-With a wince, he thought maybe he should switch that insult to something a little farther away from what the two of them ...God, he couldn't even go there. Not if he wanted to breathe."
"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."
"Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you."
"Was it animal pee or human pee? Someone asked.How would I know? What, am I an expert in the study of pee?"
Explore more quotes by Tanya Masse
"We are often so worried about what is going to happen that we can't enjoy what is happening NOW."
"We all have our things that we would rather live without. It's how we live with them when we have no choice that makes us or breaks us."
"Too many of us spend too much time worrying about how long we are going to live rather than focusing on how we live. People cannot live forever, but memories can. Remember that with every breath and your life will change."
"Two things define you in this life. Your attitude when you are at your highest and your attitude when you are at your lowest. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom in order to recognize and define what truly matters."
"You know it's the 21st Century when someone TEXTS you from the washroom to ask you to bring them a roll of toilet paper."
"Hope for the best,brace yourself for the worst and no matter what you're faced with, make a plan to KEEP GOING!"
"The happiest people are the ones who can build a firm foundation of awesomeness out of the stones people have thrown at them."
"Behind every successful woman are people who bring out the best in her, encourage her and cheer her on!"
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