"If one door closes and another door opens, chances are your house is haunted."

Humor, Paranormal, Observation, Awareness

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"If one door closes and another door opens, chances are your house is haunted."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Regret

"I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'"

Doug Coupland, Canadian Author

Humor, Clocks, Future, Right

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Mental, Friend, Imagination

"Did you talk to him about it?""Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy.""Maydar?""As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Jealousy, Doubt, Friendship

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Blood, Survival, Friendship

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

Jonathan Swift, Irish Writer

Humor, First, Fool, Kissing, Wonder

"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Laughter, Sanity, Life

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"I love you"s are exhanged excessively under our roof. Cancer teaches you how important and critical that is."

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"Don't waste any of your precious time or energy on negativity. There's no time for that nonsense."

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"We all have our things that we would rather live without. It's how we live with them when we have no choice that makes us or breaks us."

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"Don't ever let anyone bring you down, define who you are or destroy your AWESOMENESS."

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"Life isn't always easy. I struggle day to day. But I choose to live life to the fullest and keep reminding myself that I am stronger than ANYTHING that stands in my way."

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"You can't NOT cross the street because you might get hit by a car."

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"The happiest people are the ones who can build a firm foundation of awesomeness out of the stones people have thrown at them."

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"You know it's the 21st Century when someone TEXTS you from the washroom to ask you to bring them a roll of toilet paper."

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"Always remember that the most important things in this life are not things. Stay safe, stay strong and stay together."

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"Really think about what you want your eulogy to say about you, then live THAT."

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