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"What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do."
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"A man's face as a rule says more, and more interesting things, than his mouth, for it is a compendium of everything his mouth will ever say, in that it is the monogram of all this man's thoughts and aspirations."

"It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up."

"But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought."

"I've been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library."
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"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip."

"I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away."

"My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this."

"Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work."

"The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house."
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