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"What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do."
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"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together."
President
"The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house."
Job
"I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points."
People
"If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'"
Family
"If men have a smell it's usually an accident."
Men
"Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door."
Baby
"You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand."
Goal
"If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck."
Home
"The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him."
Quality
"I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie."
Daughter
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"When you take action-think.When you fail-think.When you are in doubt-think.When you have lost your way-think.You are nothing but your thoughts."
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Personal Development
"Wherever your thoughts and beliefs can take you, you can go there."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Give thy thoughts no tongue."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Heresy is another word for freedom of thought."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Each "way of thinking" has its own shape and color, which wax and wane like the moon."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The only way to make a great thought great is to share it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Language is the dress of thought."
Author Name
Personal Development
"How can the thoughts be stopped? Tell the thoughts, 'You take care of your own issues; I am not on your side.' That way you will sit on God's side."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Of course, in our train of thought, we would all like to think we're on the right track, or at least the same railroad company as the right track."
Author Name
Personal Development
"All thought is naught but a footnote to Plato."
Author Name
Personal Development
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