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P. G. Wodehouse

"I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled."

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"I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled."

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"The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible."

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"You can wipe out your opponents. But if you do it unjustly you become eligible for being wiped out yourself."

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"There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world."

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"Being a blockhead is sometimes the best security against being cheated by a man of wit."

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"It is a common enough case, that of a man being suddenly captivated by a woman nearly the opposite of his ideal."

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"And they write innumerable books; being too vain and distracted for silence: seeking every one after his own elevation, and dodging his emptiness."

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"There is more pleasure in loving than in being beloved."

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"The secret of being a bore... is to tell everything."

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"No man lives without jostling and being jostled; in all ways he has to elbow himself through the world, giving and receiving offence."

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"Being brilliant is no great feat if you respect nothing."

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"Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels."
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"It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them."
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"Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting."
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"There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine."
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"Suiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the soul?''Oh, rather!''What do you do about it?''I generally take a couple of cocktails."
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"When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon."
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"It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time."
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