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"Capo, my first golden retriever, so loved to swim she once jumped off a cliff to get into Lake Superior."
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"Other useful commands to teach your dog are 'stay,' 'heel,' 'remove your snout from that person's groin,' 'stop humping the Barcalounger,' 'do not bark violently for two hours at inanimate objects such as a flowerpot,' ' do not eat poop,' and 'if you must eat poop, then at least refrain from licking my face afterward'."

"Capo, my first golden retriever, so loved to swim she once jumped off a cliff to get into Lake Superior."

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"I had mice that I kept as pets when I was very young, and I've always liked the way they look. Even rats. I'm not scared of them."
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"Capo, my first golden retriever, so loved to swim she once jumped off a cliff to get into Lake Superior."
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