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Steven Wright

"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."

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"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."

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Donna Grant

"We cannot measure time. We can only measure changes of life and the universe."

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Donna Grant

"I wouldn't ask too much of her,' I ventured. 'You can't change the past.''Can't change the past?' he cried incredulously. 'Why of course you can!"

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Donna Grant

"Life is a bubble in the ocean of time. At the same time, it can hold all the water of the ocean in her heart."

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Donna Grant

"Wouldn't it be amazing if you could travel into the future, see where you messed up, and then go back in time to rearrange things in order to make your future better? You can. If you can foresee regret, you can mind-travel to the future. If you can train yourself to mind-travel effectively, you can intentionally affect your future by doing something about it today."

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Donna Grant

"A broad margin of leisure is as beautiful in a man's life as in a book. Haste makes waste, no less in life than in housekeeping. Keep the time, observe the hours of the universe, not of the cars."

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Donna Grant

"God had infinite time to give us.... He cut it up into a near succession of new mornings and with each therefore a new idea new inventions and new applications."

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Donna Grant

"Time is the greatest and longest-established spinner of all. ... His factory is a secret place his work noiseless and his hands are mutes."

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Donna Grant

"Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."

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Donna Grant

"The value of time is immeasurable."

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Donna Grant

"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever."

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Steven Wright
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
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Steven Wright
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
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Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
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Steven Wright
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
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Steven Wright
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
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Steven Wright
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
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Steven Wright
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
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Steven Wright
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
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Steven Wright
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."
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Steven Wright
"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."
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