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George Carlin

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

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"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

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Amber Hurdle

"Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse."

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Amber Hurdle

"Taking in and blowing out smoke? And now you see girls smoking cigars. It got to be such a fad. Girls on the covers of magazines, smoking cigars. Give me a break. I didn't want to be a part of that. I don't like "popular.""

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Amber Hurdle

"If someone puts up $100 million on a movie, they're gonna be concerned about whether they'll get it back. So they're not gonna make a movie about three girls, you know?"

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Amber Hurdle

"There were a few 6th form girls that I got with when I was I the 6th form, they were really nice, so that was cool."

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Amber Hurdle

"There are eight girls in the house in which I am living, and practically all of them are good looking. You can realize that I am kept busy."

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Amber Hurdle

"Girls can wear jeans, cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots, 'cause it's okay to be a boy, but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading."

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Amber Hurdle

"The girls in high school who watched 90210? I was watching Seinfeld."

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Amber Hurdle

"I grew up in a world that told girls they couldn't play rock 'n' roll."

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Amber Hurdle

"Some girls are just born with glitter in their veins."

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Amber Hurdle

"Girls were always my biggest distraction in school."

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George Carlin
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
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George Carlin
"As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up."
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George Carlin
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."
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George Carlin
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
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George Carlin
"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time."
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George Carlin
"People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think."
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George Carlin
"Religion is just mind control."
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George Carlin
"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
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George Carlin
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
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George Carlin
"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."
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