top of page
Quote_1.png
Kresley Cole

"Yo, Dekko, who do I gotta blow around here to get a shower?"

Standard 
 Customized
"Yo, Dekko, who do I gotta blow around here to get a shower?"

Exlpore more Humor quotes

Quote_1.png
Asa Don Brown

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Quote_1.png
Asa Don Brown

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."

Quote_1.png
Asa Don Brown

"Laughter is carbonated holiness."

Quote_1.png
Asa Don Brown

"The Fool held his breath. On long nights on the hard flagstones he had dreamed of women like her. Although, if he really thought about it, not much like her; they were better endowed around the chest, their noses weren't so red and pointed, and their hair tended to flow more. But the Fool's libido was bright enough to tell the difference between the impossible and the conceivably attainable, and hurriedly cut in some filter circuits."

Quote_1.png
Asa Don Brown

"D'yer see it? This finger, laddie, could send ye to meet yer Maker!Sgt. Deisenburger stared at the black and purple nail a few inches from his face. As an offensive weapon it rated quite highly, especially if it was ever used in the preparation of food."

Quote_1.png
Asa Don Brown

"Showing off is more ridiculous in instances where the thing that is being shown off was bought on credit."

Quote_1.png
Asa Don Brown

"It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating," said the Queen presently. "What would you like best to eat?""Turkish Delight, please, your Majesty," said Edmund."

Quote_1.png
Asa Don Brown

"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."

Quote_1.png
Asa Don Brown

"I HAVE MADE THIS FOR YOU. She reached out and took a damp square of cardboard. Water dripped off the bottom. Somewhere in the middle, a few brown feathers seemed to have been glued on. 'Thank you. Er ... what is it?'ALBERT SAID THERE OUGHT TO BE SNOW ON IT, BUT IT APPEARS TO HAVE MELTED, said Death. IT IS, OF COURSE, A HOGSWATCH CARD.'Oh ...' THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A ROBIN ON IT AS WELL, BUT I HAD CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY IN GETTING IT TO STAY ON. 'Ah...'IT WAS NOT AT ALL COOPERATIVE.'Really ...?'IT DID NOT SEEM TO GET INTO THE HOGSWATCH SPIRIT AT ALL."

Quote_1.png
Asa Don Brown

"I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people's faeces more disgusting than a bird's droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all."

Explore more quotes by Kresley Cole

Quote_1.png
Kresley Cole
"If a demon and a vampire mated, their offspring would be unique but in harmony, like a Labrador retriever crossed with a poodle. Voila, labradoodle!But a vemon was a made creature, as if one took the front half of the Lab and jammed it onto the back half of the poodle. In other words, wrong."
Quote_1.png
Kresley Cole
"It felt bizarre to be ignored in general, much less by an embodiment of Aidan--who used to stare at her so hard that he'd run into trees."
Quote_1.png
Kresley Cole
"She'd thought there was no greater connection than destiny decreeing them joined. But there was - the choice they'd made to love each other."
Quote_1.png
Kresley Cole
"The bottom line is, insults only hurt when they come from someone I respect."
Quote_1.png
Kresley Cole
"Please put your penises away, gentlemen. Dinner is procured. By a woman."
Quote_1.png
Kresley Cole
"Nix had told Emma before she'd left for Europe that on this trip she would 'do that which you were born to do.' Apparently, Emma was born to get kidnapped by a deranged Lykae. Her fate sucked."
Quote_1.png
Kresley Cole
"Aww, did we masturbate through the tears last night?"
Quote_1.png
Kresley Cole
"Was it just her, or did lovers look more adoringly at each other in this city? Especially in the springtime.'Die, bastards.'She sighed. It wasn't their fault that they were bastards who should die."
Quote_1.png
Kresley Cole
"He's like six hundred years younger than you are. I refuse to be the moral compass of our cell! Most weekends I have an intoxispell bong attached to my mouth like a respirator. I love scatological humor, and I list 'pranks involving nuclear waste' and 'making demons eat things' as my hobbies."
Quote_1.png
Kresley Cole
"It's a sweet setup, I'll admit. For all that the maids STILL show up each day with jumbo crucifixes, jumpy movements, and red eyes from crying over the short straw that drew them vampire duty.' Yesterday, she'd just stopped herself from raising her clenched hands above her head and chasing one of them around the room groaning, 'I vant to suck your blood."
bottom of page