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"She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species."
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"The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight."
"Kids are a great analogy. You want your kids to grow up, and you don't want your kids to grow up. You want your kids to become independent of you, but it's also a parent's worst nightmare: That they won't need you. It's like the real tragedy of parenting."
"I learned to love my son without wanting to possess him and I learned how to teach him to teach himself."
"Sometimes your kids will say the nastiest things, won't they, Rose? You want to ask,'Whose child is this?'"Rose chuckled."But usually, they're just in some kind of pain. They need to work it out."
"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib."
Explore more quotes by Christopher Moore
"But Charlie could imagine, because he was a Beta Male, and imagination was his curse...."
"Rivera rubbed his temples. 'Satan told you to do it?' he said wearily.'No.''Elvis?''I told you, it's supernatural."
"You cannot believe what you do not believe, Rumi siad. I am an Untouchable because my karma dictates it."
"I'm feeling full of tiny princes, bustling to get out into the world and start plotting against one another."
"Blessed with the Beta Male imagination, he spent much of his life squinting into the future so he might spot ways in which the world was conspiring to kill him..."
"Does the work get easier once you know what you are doing?''Your lungs grow thick with stone dust and your eyes bleary from the sun and fragments thrown up by the chisel. You pour your lifeblood out into works of stone for Romans who will take your money in taxes to feed soldiers who will nail your people to crosses for wanting to be free. Your back breaks, your bones creak, your wife screeches at you, and your children torment you with open begging mouths, like greedy baby birds in the nest. You go to bed every night so tired and beaten that you pray to the Lord to send the angel of death to take you in your sleep so you don't have to face another morning. It also has its downside."
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