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Christopher Moore

"She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species."

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"She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species."

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Akiroq Brost

"It's so awful, attacking your child. It's the worse thing I know, to shout loudly at this 50 lb. being with his huge trusting brown eyes. It's like bitch-slapping E.T."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"Most parents are not really 'supportive' because they want their kid(s) to succeed; they 'support' their kid(s) as an attempt to avoid appearing to have bred a failure, or, failures - in the eyes of their peers and/or neighbours."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"Spanking a child is about the parent not the child. The child will learn more from positive correction than physical manipulation."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"Maybe it's just a daughter's job to piss off her mother."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"The answer to the question 'How many children do you have?' and the one to the question 'How many children are you raising?' are not identical in all cases: some men are not taking care of their own children, some are knowingly or unknowingly raising other men's children, and some do not even know that they each have a child, another child, or other children."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"That we shall use every discovery of science in the preservation of our children's health goes without saying; but we shall do more than this - we shall give them a free start, not loading them up with our own ideas and experiences, nor advising them to live according to our lights. We were burned in the fire here and there, but - who knows? - fire may not burn our children, and if we warn them away from it they may end by never growing warm. We will not even inflict our cynicism on them as the sentimentality of our fathers was inflicted on us. The most we will do is urge a little doubt, asking that the doubt be exercised on our ideas as well as on all the mortal things in this world."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"Roger speaking to Brianna: It's too important. You don't forget having a dad."You do remember your father?"No. I remember yours."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"Darling, my darling, don't think that I don't love you or that I didn't love you, but it's precisely because I love you that I couldn't have become what I am today if you were still here. It's impossible to have a child and despise the world as it is, because that's the world we've put the child into. The child makes us care about the world, think about it's future, willingly join in its racket and its turmoils, take its incurable stupidity seriously."

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Christopher Moore
"One day I was telling him that I thought that cars had replaced guns as phallic symbols for American men, and I thought it was interesting that he had one that was so small and fast. The next day he gave me the Datsun and went out and bought a Lincoln."

Masculinity

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Christopher Moore
"The three jewels of Tao: compassion, moderation, and humility. Balthasar said compassion leads to courage, moderation leads to generosity, and humility leads to leadership."

Philosophy

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Christopher Moore
"Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There's no such place."

Satire

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Christopher Moore
"Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong."

Critique

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Christopher Moore
"It was the sound of a thousand hungry children crying, ten thousand widows tearing their hair over their husband's graves, a chorus of angels singing the last dirge on the day of God's death."

Suffering

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Christopher Moore
"I've tried to get the angel to watch MTV so I can learn the vocabulary of your music, but even with the gift of tongues, I'm having trouble learning to speak hip-hop. Why is it that one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere but you must busta cap in someone's ass? Is 'ho' always feminine, and 'muthafucka' always masculine, while 'bitch' can be either? How many peeps in a posse, how much booty before baby got back, do you have to be all that to get all up in that, and do I need to be dope and phat to be da bomb or can I just be 'stupid'? I'll not be singing over any dead mothers until I understand."

Culture

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Christopher Moore
"The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear."

Growth

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Christopher Moore
"Science, you don't know, looks like magic."

Science

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Christopher Moore
"Don't be so hard on yourself, You're doing the same thing, trying to reconcile all the moms that Mom ever was - The one you wanted, the one she was when you needed her and she was there, the one she was when she didn't understand. Most of us don't live our lives with one, integrated self that meets the world, we're a whole bunch of selves. When someone dies, they all integrate into the soul - the essence of who we are, beyond the different faces we wear throughout our lives. You're just hating the selves you've always hated, and loving the ones you've always loved. It's bound to mess you up."

Integration

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Christopher Moore
"Sweet Pocket, you mustn't ask about my life before I came here. What I am now, I have always been, and everything I am is here with you."
"'Sweet Thalia,' said I. 'That is a fiery flagon of dragon toss.'"

Connection

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