"My husband says it is very good that I have very tiny feet, because they're easier to get in my mouth."

Humor, Husbfeet

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"My husband says it is very good that I have very tiny feet, because they're easier to get in my mouth."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Calm, Reassurance, Fear

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Police, Interaction, Social

" Think of how many times you put on your underwear in a lifetime. It was appalling, it was disgusting, it was stupid."

Charles Bukowski, American Author

Humor, Life, Daily, Routine

"Silverfish looked down."Oh. Are you a dwarf?"Cuddy gave him a blank stare."Are you a giant?" He said."Me? Of course not!"Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Identity, Giants, Truth

"What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Truth, Happiness, Power, Today

"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Appearance, Opinion, Judgment

"Reason like a sphere? What type of reasoning does a wooden sphere do?""The circular type, I should think. And, by coincidence, it is my favorite type as well. Perhaps that's why I'm so good at the game."

Brandon Sanderson, American Author

Humor, Logic, Reason, Games

"Lovemaking is a big grammatical error, i think it should be, LustMaking."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Love, Lust, Language, Truth

"If there was an elephant in the supermarket, she'd either not see it at all, or call it Mrs Jones and talk about fishcakes."

Jeanette Winterson, British Novelist

Humor, Perception, Reality, Imagination

"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Personality, Identity, Education

Explore more quotes by Colleen McCullough

"There is no doubt that it is more difficult to read and more difficult to write but I still manage."

Doubt

"I want to know what they look like, their height, and colouring, physique and speech pattens."

Curiosity

"I stopped this one about two months before federation and I want the next one to be more political. It will deal with the formation of white Australian policy and things like that."

Policy

"The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men more."

Man

"In The Touch, the love scenes are the same as they were in The Thorn Birds or anything else I've ever written. I find a way of saying that either it was heaven or hell but in a way that still leaves room for the reader to use their own imagination."

Imagination

"My fictitious characters will take the bit between their teeth and gallop off and do something that I hadn't counted on. However, I always insist on dragging them back to the straight and narrow."

Will

"It's a dead give away of an inexperienced writer if every character speaks with the same voice."

Character

"There's a hell of a lot of horny people out there who are not being gratified in the way they should be."

People

"I think explicit love scenes are a turn off unless it's the kind you read with one hand."

Love

"In early draft it never satisfied me, and that was when it clicked into place and it went so well as a diary."

Writing