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W. C. Fields

"The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive."

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"The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive."

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"In order that all men may be taught to speak the truth, it is necessary that all likewise should learn to hear it."

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"A little skill in antiquity inclines a man to Popery."

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"In the course of history, men come to see that iron necessity is neither iron nor necessary."

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"A man in passion rides a horse that runs away with him."

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"The man who looks for security, even in the mind, is like a man who would chop off his limbs in order to have artificial ones which will give him no pain or trouble."

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"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."

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"The dons of Oxford and Cambridge are too busy educating the young men to be able to teach them anything."

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"Men should not try to overstrain their goodness more than any other faculty, bodily or mental."

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"In the last analysis, even the best man is evil: in the last analysis, even the best woman is bad."

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"A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it."

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W. C. Fields
"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."
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"Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live."
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W. C. Fields
"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream."
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W. C. Fields
"It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money."
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W. C. Fields
"There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it."
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W. C. Fields
"Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler."
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W. C. Fields
"Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch."
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W. C. Fields
"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."
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W. C. Fields
"I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."
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W. C. Fields
"The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves."
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