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"The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive."
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"In the course of history, men come to see that iron necessity is neither iron nor necessary."

"A man in passion rides a horse that runs away with him."

"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."

"The dons of Oxford and Cambridge are too busy educating the young men to be able to teach them anything."

"In the last analysis, even the best man is evil: in the last analysis, even the best woman is bad."

"A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it."
Explore more quotes by W. C. Fields

"Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler."
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