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"Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life."

W. C. Fields, American Comedian

Life, Rest, Woman

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"Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life."

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"The condition you're in at this moment is the product of your previous thoughts, to change your condition, change your thoughts."

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Explore more quotes by W. C. Fields

"The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive."

"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."

"I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home."

"Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times."

"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."

"Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live."

"If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind."

"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream."

"It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money."

"Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again."

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