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"There's got to be structure and great comedy. When you start with that, everything else falls into place."
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"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"

"He's a love-'em-and-leave-'em kind of guy. And though he's not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.William growled low in his throat. "Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone? He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. "Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya's the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. "William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel."

"The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain."

"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."

"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."

"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."

"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."
Explore more quotes by Aries Spears

"The best part about being a stand-up is the connection with the audience. There's nothing more gratifying then when you can make 300 people applaud and stand up - because that's all you."

"Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually finish jokes."

"The average comedian is kind of an observer looking at everyday things that everyone could relate to and then trying to find the exaggeration in those things."

"There's got to be structure and great comedy. When you start with that, everything else falls into place."
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