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"I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum."
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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

"He makes people pleased with him by making them first pleased with themselves."

"People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy."

"Prune - prune businesses, products, activities, people. Do it annually."

"Some people bear three kinds of trouble - the ones they've had, the ones they have, and the ones they expect to have."
Explore more quotes by Quentin Crisp

"The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster."

"Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep."

"When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"

"There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings."

"Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin."

"In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis."

"The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right."

"The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us."

"Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses."
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