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"A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run."
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"She's in a situation she tried to, that's what's complicated. She followed orders; she called off the raid. This is a dangerous situation. Somebody in DC police went ahead and started."
"On one occasion in 1987 the security police came looking for me because of a drawing that I'd published."
"I know when I was here prosecuting homicides in the District of Columbia, one of the most effective units here was the cold case squad, which had on it FBI agents, as well as Metropolitan Police Department homicide detectives working together."
"This is going right to the police. So, it's a very dangerous precedent."
"The way they were writing Christine as this older woman who got married, which she shouldn't have. Obviously got divorced right away. Reached the glass ceiling in the police precinct. So there is a part of her that died because she knows she couldn't go any farther."
"Incidentally, our railroad facilities are under video surveillance by the federal police. However, the federal and state governments will have to determine whether video surveillance shouldn't be significantly expanded to a certain degree."
"If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house."
"I decided that if the police couldn't catch the gangsters, I'd create a fellow who could."
"Let me be clear about this. I don't have a drug problem. I have a police problem."
Explore more quotes by Dennis Miller
"Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again."
"Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time."
"Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on."
"Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels."
"Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways."
"What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy."
"A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away."
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