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"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
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Personal Development

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
Author Name
Personal Development

"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."
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Personal Development

"They are fond of fun and therefore witty, wit being well-bred insolence."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."
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Personal Development

"We can't all be comedians, some people have to do the laughing."
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Personal Development

"His voice is to entertainment what the kazoo is to classical music."
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Personal Development

"He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader."
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Personal Development

"To put an arrogant 'famous' singer in her place: pretend to be deaf."
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Personal Development

"Was this some new level of depravity? Had he developed a spinster fetish?"
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Personal Development
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"My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening."
Humor

"I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development."
Development

"Dorothy is the only woman in history who has had her menopause in public and made it pay."
History

"The secret of eternal youth is arrested development."
Development
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