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Alice Roosevelt Longworth

"My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening."

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"My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening."

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Amber Hurdle

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."

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Amber Hurdle

"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."

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Amber Hurdle

"They are fond of fun and therefore witty, wit being well-bred insolence."

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Amber Hurdle

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."

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Amber Hurdle

"We can't all be comedians, some people have to do the laughing."

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Amber Hurdle

"His voice is to entertainment what the kazoo is to classical music."

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Amber Hurdle

"He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader."

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Amber Hurdle

"To put an arrogant 'famous' singer in her place: pretend to be deaf."

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Amber Hurdle

"Was this some new level of depravity? Had he developed a spinster fetish?"

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Alice Roosevelt Longworth
"My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening."

Humor

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Alice Roosevelt Longworth
"I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development."

Development

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Alice Roosevelt Longworth
"Dorothy is the only woman in history who has had her menopause in public and made it pay."

History

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Alice Roosevelt Longworth
"The secret of eternal youth is arrested development."

Development

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