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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."
Author Name
Personal Development
"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."
Author Name
Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required."
Humor
"Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour."
Life
"Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it."
Business
"Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets."
Education
"The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine."
Writing
"Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so."
Christian
"Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult."
Writing
"It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy."
Politics
"Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it."
Humor
"A sportsman is a man who every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something."
Humor
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