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Stephen Leacock

"It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish."

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"It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish."

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Amber Hurdle

"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."

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Amber Hurdle

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

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Amber Hurdle

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

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Amber Hurdle

"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."

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Amber Hurdle

"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."

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Amber Hurdle

"England has forty-two religions and only two sauces."

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Amber Hurdle

"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh."

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Amber Hurdle

"Stupidity is brief and guileless, while wit equivocates and hides. Wit is a scoundrel, while stupidity is honest and sincere."

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Amber Hurdle

"I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea."

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Amber Hurdle

"Southern DADDY-Dandy At Doin' Diapers Y'all!"

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Stephen Leacock
"Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so."
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Stephen Leacock
"If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it."
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Stephen Leacock
"It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy."
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Stephen Leacock
"What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years."
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Stephen Leacock
"The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine."
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Stephen Leacock
"There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit."
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Stephen Leacock
"Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult."
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Stephen Leacock
"A sportsman is a man who every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something."
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Stephen Leacock
"We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor."
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Stephen Leacock
"Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it."
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