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"Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart."
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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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Personal Development
"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
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Personal Development
"I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me."
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Personal Development
"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."
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Personal Development
"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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Personal Development
"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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Personal Development
"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
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Personal Development
"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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Personal Development
"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
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Personal Development
"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"
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Personal Development
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"He has your finger, but I have your heart."
Heart
"Get tough: don't work under pressure; work over pressure."
Work
"Love becomes logically true when lost but still sought from the same source."
Love
"I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever."
Creativity
"True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't."
Will
"What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found?"
Love
"Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live."
Life
"Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart."
Comedy
"Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own."
Success
"Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris."
Work
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