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Brian Celio

"Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart."

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"Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart."

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"NBC anchor Brian Williams is a standup comic in disguise."

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"We are in desperate need of a well-done romantic lesbian comedy."

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"It doesn't look great if you cancel the reigning Best Comedy Program, you know, you're gonna take a hit from a... from sort of a public relations standpoint."

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"You're entering dangerous land when you start theorising about comedy."

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"Stand-up comedy and poverty. Those were my two main endeavors."

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"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."

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"Comedy is just to me, maybe it's a natural knack, if I can see where the joke is in the writing and I can see where the setup is and I can tell this is the way to make it."

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"I think it would be harder for me not to write comedy because the comic view of things is the one that comes most naturally to me."

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"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."

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"It's a great counter to doing the soap because it's a comedy. It's real physical comedy."

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"I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home?"
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"Don't hate me 'cause I'm booed a fool!"
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"A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both."
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"Technology forced me to divorce a pixie and remarry a pixel."
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"Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own."
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"True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't."
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"Maybe the best way to get people to be pro-life is to start 'em off in amateur-life."
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"What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found?"
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Brian Celio
"You might not be able to stomach it, but as long as you can mind it, your heart will be all right."
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"Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both."
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