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"Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart."
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"NBC anchor Brian Williams is a standup comic in disguise."

"It doesn't look great if you cancel the reigning Best Comedy Program, you know, you're gonna take a hit from a... from sort of a public relations standpoint."

"You're entering dangerous land when you start theorising about comedy."

"Stand-up comedy and poverty. Those were my two main endeavors."

"Comedy is just to me, maybe it's a natural knack, if I can see where the joke is in the writing and I can see where the setup is and I can tell this is the way to make it."

"I think it would be harder for me not to write comedy because the comic view of things is the one that comes most naturally to me."

"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."
Explore more quotes by Brian Celio

"I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home?"

"A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both."

"Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own."

"What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found?"
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