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"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
Gay
"When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'"
Answers
"We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself."
Dictatorship
"If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."
Woman
"Cricket is basically baseball on valium."
Baseball
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"
Baseball
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose."
Fight
"We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins."
Years
"I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice."
Country
"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong."
Right
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"The boldest plans for the future invoke the authority of the past, and that even a revolutionary seeks to satisfy himself that he is also a reactionary."
Author Name
Personal Development
"This day is the most recent set of events to define you. Every day changes your life. Every last one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You can change a life by touching someone with simple, beautiful, kind, words and a loving smile."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When it comes to changing your life; there's only one thing you've to change, that is everything."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We have to change our thoughts before things can change."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Anyway, it's like with bikes,' said the first speaker authoritatively. 'I thought I was going to get this bike with seven gears and one of them razorblade saddles and purple paint and everything, and they gave me this light blue one. With a basket. A girl's bike.''Well. You're a girl,' said one of the others.'That's sexism, that is. Going around giving people girly presents just because they're a girl."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To really change the world, we have to help people change the way they see things. Global betterment is a mental process, not one that requires huge sums of money or a high level of authority. Change has to be psychological. So if you want to see real change, stay persistent in educating humanity on how similar we all are than different. Don't only strive to be the change you want to see in the world, but also help all those around you see the world through commonalities of the heart so that they would want to change with you. This is how humanity will evolve to become better. This is how you can change the world. The language of the heart is mankind's main common language."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I don't understand how everything changes, how the layers of your life get buried. Impossible. At some point, at some time, we must all explode."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You may turn every house in your neighborhood into a charity center, you may fill the land with soup-kitchens, but the misery of humans will still continue to exist until the character of humanity changes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When you meet someone, and you find that they are prejudiced against your kind, it might be your chance, not to confirm, but to be the one to finally change their mind."
Author Name
Personal Development
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