"A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!'"

Father, People, Company, Sons

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"A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!'"

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William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

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"I used to annoy my father by telling him how much I felt luck was with me."

Gene Tierney, American Actress

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"Dad made it to Gold Shield Detective, so he always busted Robin, my oldest brother, and me. Always got caught, whatever we were doing."

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"My father, who had previously been a civil engineer, died in the great influenza epidemic of 1918."

James Rainwater, American Scientist

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"I would ask my dad what he did, and he'd say, 'I listen to people's problems.' In some way what he did for a living is in my genes."

Marcia Cross, American Actress

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"My dad? He died when I was 19, which is a bad time for your dad to die, because there's an awful lot of things you have to resolve with your parents past your teens if you've been a difficult teenager."

Robbie Coltrane, Scottish Actor

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"I'll never forget my father's response when I told him I wanted to be a lawyer. He said, 'If you do this, no man will ever want you.'"

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"My father was often angry when I was most like him."

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Explore more quotes by Lewis Black

"A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!'"

Father

"And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye."

Economics

"In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants."

Evolution

"It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!"

Men

"If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer."

People

"Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas."

Ideas

"If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat."

Health