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"Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious."
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"I went for an outrageous form of expressing myself. It seemed to be a way that I could make my name and show that I was somebody."
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"Great was the name of Abraham, but all his Sons were not accepted; only Isaac was in the Covenant."

"Since you knew they was goin' to cheat you anyway, I recorded under any name with all of 'em."
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"When I was a kid I joined the circus. I did that. It is true. But it's not like you think. There was a guy, he had his own circus. His name was Carol Jacobs and he owned it. It was a small thing."
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"Anne Baxter was a very good actress, Donna Reid was great. You couldn't name an actress I wasn't crazy about."
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Explore more quotes by Bill Maher

"I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder."

"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"

"A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out."

"This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air."

"This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution."

"I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?"

"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."
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