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Carrot Top

"I didn't really have a plan of attack when I got in college."

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"I didn't really have a plan of attack when I got in college."

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"On the first day of a college you will worry about how will you do inside the college? and at the last day of a college you will wonder what will you do outside the college?"

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"The ideal college is Mark Hopkins on one end of a log and a student on the other."

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"You see what happens in college and high school games today - a three-point shot or a dunk. I think that's the reason that you see a lot of that in the pros today."

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"And during my college, at the end of the junior year I worked in a mine."

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"College atheletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil."

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"Coming out of college with a degree in fine arts and painting isn't worth much any more."

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"I tried college for three months but I was desperately unhappy. I just wanted to perform. I was getting straight As but I had no friends and cried every day."

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"Going to college helped me, because I had four years in the conservatory program, which is close as you can get to a professional environment. It's like all day."

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"I started doing stand-up in college."

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"Pell grants are the foundation of Federal student aid. As someone who attended college with the help of Pell grants and as chairman of the Pell Grant Caucus, I know how important they are for our Nation's low-income students."

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"I think, over the years, I've kind of evolved."
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"I think the more you do this and the more comfortable you become on stage, you start speaking more and becoming more of a character in yourself."
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"There's nothing wrong with trying to reach out to new fans."
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"I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny."
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"On the weekends, I would go down and play these clubs in Key West or West Palm Beach or surrounding areas of Florida and then I'd go back to school for the week."
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"It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends."
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"When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me."
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"My real name is Scott Thompson. I could have gone by that name, but when I started doing comedy I thought I needed to go by something that has a little more of a hook."
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"I think it's the fact that I do something different and that I actually have some success with it. That bothers a lot of people... especially comics."
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"It's our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people."
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