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"Serve the dinner backward, do anything - but for goodness sake, do something weird."
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"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Explore more quotes by Elsa Maxwell

"Someone said that life is a party. You join in after it's started and leave before it's finished."

"A bore is a vacuum cleaner of society, sucking up everything and giving nothing. Bores are always eager to be seen talking to you."

"Under pressure, people admit to murder, setting fire to the village church or robbing a bank, but never to being bores."

"Seeing unhappiness in the marriage of friends, I was content to have chosen music and laughter as a substitute for a husband."
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