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"The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn't any."
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"Hey, would you look at that shit?"I turned on my heel. The patrons who'd fled at the first hint of trouble had come back and were enjoying the spectacle."Clear out!" I barked.They paid me no mind. Asshole innocent bystanders."

"The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties."

"It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so."

"I don't want to write every week, it's too much trouble, and I shall only write when I want something. If you think I'm sick when I don't write, you can send for me to come and tell you."

"You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble."

"The trouble with wedlock is that there's not enough wed and too much lock."

"It's amazing how much trouble you can get in when you don't have anything else to do."
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