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"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."
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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I hate fishing, and I can't imagine why anyone would want to hike when you can get in the car and drive."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One morning, about four o'clock, I was driving my car just about as fast as I could. I thought, Why am I out this time of night? I was miserable, and it came to me: I'm falling in love with somebody I have no right to fall in love with."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I will never have a drink and get behind the wheel of a car. It's not illegal to drink and drive, but there becomes a certain point where it does become a crime."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If you are a writer you locate yourself behind a wall of silence and no matter what you are doing, driving a car or walking or doing housework you can still be writing, because you have that space."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
Success
"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."
Friendship
"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."
Friendship
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
God
"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."
Old
"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?"
Will
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
Car
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
Car
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Car
"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."
School
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