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"Nothing makes you think you might need years of therapy like saying the word breasts in front of your mother."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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"Yesterday Allison bought me nail polish in the annoying shade of mauve. How can anyone look at me and think mauve?"
Humor
"We were nothing more than actions to reactions - helpless against our own fate. It's true. I react and others pay."
Philosophy
"We'd read about sirens in English this fall; Greek mythology bullshit about women so beautiful, their voices so enchanting, that men did anything for them. Turned out that mythology crap was real because every time I saw her, I lost my mind."
Fiction
"It's like I have this large black hole in my brain and it's sucking the life out of me. The answers are in there so I sit for hours and stare. No matter how hard and long I look, I only see darkness."
Self
"Anyone who ever makes you the slightest bit uncomfortable, Breanna, you tell one of us. You're with Razor, which means you're family."
Family
"I'm right and wrong, moral and immoral, good and bad, a hero and a villain, and I've been just as capable of truth as I have been lies."
Reflection
"I don't lose. Do you hear me? I don't lose and that includes losing you. I'm done being kept in the dark. Im done feeling like you're slipping right past me. You are not saying goodbye to me. I'm in love with you and you love me back. You are staying."
Relationship
"Baby, you've got enough strength and tenacity to takedown drug dealers. You'll be fine."
Motivation
"I'm not a princess but Ryan is a knight, he just belongs to someone else."
Romance
"Do you think we can just take it on faith right now that I want you, you want me, and we'll figure out the happy ending part later?"
Romance
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