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Mitch Hedberg

"Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen."

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"Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen."

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Donna Grant

"Dreams are just lies that we tell ourselves while we're asleep."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Did you play by the rules and work hard but feel empty and unfulfilled? It's because you were lied to."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"My emotions still held a stubborn hope that humans could be loyal, that they could hold out against the promise of an easy life. But I knew better."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"When I was in junior high school, I used to think that Disney's 1990's paranormal television program 'So Weird' was every kid's ideal life - not going to school, living on a tour bus, having rockstar parents, traveling all over North America and never staying in one place for more than a week or so. Of course, eventually the realization hits you that the kids out there who really do live like this, pulling up stakes every week and never staying with their friends or having a permanent residence, aren't really happy."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"He lost his appetite for reading. He was afraid of being overwhelmed again. In mystery novels people died like dolls being discarded; in science fiction enormities of space and time conspired to crush the humans ; and even in P.G. Wodehouse he felt a hollowness, a turning away from reality that was implicitly bitter, and became explicit in the comic figures of futile parsons."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"He's like a hero come back from thewar, a poor maimed bastard living out the reality of his dreams.Wherever he sits himself the chair collapses; whatever door heenters the room is empty: whatever he puts in his mouth leaves abad taste. Everything is just the same as it was before; theelements are unchanged, the dream is no different than the reality.Only, between the time he went to sleep and the time he woke up,his body was stolen."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"But he did not tell her, for he realised how petty it would appear to her, and how different from what she had expected, less sensational and less touching; he was afraid, too, lest, disillusioned in the matter of art, she might at the same time be disillusioned in the greater matter of love."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I made a sorry face in response to such strong insistence, but I couldn't believe him. Fantasies were exactly that..fantasies. Whimsy. Wishes. Mere castles in the sky without foundation or substance. Dreams didn't come true. To believe so would be to believe falsely, to surrender to madness, to give in to an unreliable hope that would crush me once again as it always, always did!"

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"So what are we given? We're also given, my generation, the disillusionment of our parents."

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Mitch Hedberg
"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."

Work

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Mitch Hedberg
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!"

Children

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Mitch Hedberg
"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."

People

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Mitch Hedberg
"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."

Love

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Mitch Hedberg
"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."

Cause

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Mitch Hedberg
"Dogs are forever in the push up postion."

Dogs

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Mitch Hedberg
"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."

Life

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Mitch Hedberg
"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

Fun

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Mitch Hedberg
"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'"

Friendship

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Mitch Hedberg
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."

Tennis

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