"The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer."

Humor, Law, Complexity, Understanding, Knowledge

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"The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer."

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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Power

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Singing, Sadness, Voice

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Love, Happiness, Today, Truth

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Fishing, Perspective

"Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like ared flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front ofsomeone who was annoyed by it."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Happiness, Today, Wisdom

"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Life, Power, Wisdom

"Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Safety, Cleverness, Animals

"Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."

P. J. O'Rourke, American Comedian

Humor, Cleanliness, Observation, Realism

Explore more quotes by Will Rogers

"In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing."

People

"If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them."

Money

"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."

Day

"When you put down the good things you ought to have done and leave out the bad things you did do - well that's memoirs."

Writing

"Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do."

People

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."

Government

"Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there."

Right

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

"Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like ared flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front ofsomeone who was annoyed by it."

"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

"Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."

Explore more quotes by Will Rogers

"In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing."

"If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them."

"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."

"When you put down the good things you ought to have done and leave out the bad things you did do - well that's memoirs."

"Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects."

"Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction."

"Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff."

"Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do."

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."

"Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there."