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"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."

"People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy."

"But I also like to shower my parents with presents. I bought them a beautiful car and a house."

"It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows."

"Yes, I did and a lot of my friends who are in the same program as I were very much supportive, and the most important thing they said to me is do not let this interfere with what you have to do in taking car of yourself. That was the most important thing."
Explore more quotes by Jeremy London

"I think it was when I realised I could talk anybody into doing just about anything I wanted them to."
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