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"Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show."
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"The middle class were invented to give the poor hope; the poor, to make the rich feel special; the rich, to humble the middle class."

"I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff-box from an emperor."

"Things are not quite what they seem always. Don't start me on class, otherwise you'll get a four-hour lecture."

"There is a huge antipathy in England between the north and the south, the working class and the owning class."

"I was probably the one who tattled on the class clown. To get in good with the teachers."

"If I'm not in shape, it feels like something is wrong. If I haven't been able to get to class for a while or I've been sick, I don't feel complete. It doesn't feel like the electricity is making its connections."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher

"A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out."

"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."

"What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country."

"I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?"

"New Rule: Americans have to come up with a better cheese to represent the nation than American cheese. I'm not even sure American cheese is cheese. I think it's aged Jell-O. And it doesn't need to be individually wrapped in plastic, either. You're thinking of condoms."

"Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?"

"If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod."

"It is not a surprise that a person would want to be a prophet. What's ridiculous is that other people let him."
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