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"I'm not sure a real man would smoke something that sounds like a mixed drink ice cream cone."
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"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."

"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."

"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."
Explore more quotes by Elle Lothlorien

"Souris says you wanted to see me, so here I am. Talk quick before I decide to beat the shit out of you and throw your bloody carcass back across the International Date Line."

"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."

"So, while we're sitting here on this luxury yacht enjoying our bread and water, why doesn't someone tell me the plan?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but Australians have a LOT of bitches on their cashola."

"The words 'drink me' come to mind. Anyone besides me up for some heavy alcohol consumption?"

"Aw, you're nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?"

"I don't know what this is for anyway. I mean, let me tell you what I'm never going to say to any human being, ever: 'I had hunting season off-suit in the pocket, but I've had kicker trouble with that hand often enough to fold it."

"Who are you? Rabbit and Souris call you 'Alice,' me and Dee call you 'Faye.' I just didn't know if 'Alice' was your poker-playing, Southern Hemisphere name or what. Hey, I'm just trying to fit in here. If I should be introducing myself as 'Clark,' I want to know about it sooner rather than later so I don't embarrass myself."
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