"When I was young I found out that the big toe always ends up making a hole in a sock.So I stopped wearing socks."

Humor, Youth, Learning, Life

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"When I was young I found out that the big toe always ends up making a hole in a sock.So I stopped wearing socks."

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"Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary, Apollo remarked casually.I grinned at him. "I don't think 'assholeness' is a word."It is if I say it is. Apollo drew in a deep breath, a sure sign his temper was reaching its knock-Seth-into-the-nearby-ocean point."

Jennifer L. Armentrout, American Author

Humor, Conflict, Speech, Temper

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Communication, Life, Patience

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"Aw, you're nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Social, Interaction

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

John Irving, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Religion, Truth

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Humor, Economy, Choice, Alcohol

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven't done in years- barnyard sounds."

Simone Elkeles, American Author

Humor, Playfulness, Observation, Truth

Explore more quotes by Albert Einstein

"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."

Life

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."

Intelligence

"It stands to the everlasting credit of science that by acting on the human mind it has overcome man's insecurity before himself and before nature."

Science

"The world won't be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything."

Morality

"I maintain that the cosmic religious feeling is the strongest and noblest motive for scientific research."

Science

"Nothing happens until something moves."

Progress

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary, Apollo remarked casually.I grinned at him. "I don't think 'assholeness' is a word."It is if I say it is. Apollo drew in a deep breath, a sure sign his temper was reaching its knock-Seth-into-the-nearby-ocean point."

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

"Aw, you're nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?"

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

"She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven't done in years- barnyard sounds."

Explore more quotes by Albert Einstein

"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."

"It stands to the everlasting credit of science that by acting on the human mind it has overcome man's insecurity before himself and before nature."

"The world won't be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything."

"You can never solve a problem on the level on which it was created."

"The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education."

"We cannot despair of humanity, since we ourselves are human beings."

"Do you really believe that the moon isn't there when nobody looks?"

"I maintain that the cosmic religious feeling is the strongest and noblest motive for scientific research."

"Nothing happens until something moves."