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"I thought they may have presumed too much knowledge of certain things for people who are not comedians. Like Montreal. A comic understands what it is and its importance, but someone else may not know about it."
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"A man's face as a rule says more, and more interesting things, than his mouth, for it is a compendium of everything his mouth will ever say, in that it is the monogram of all this man's thoughts and aspirations."

"It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up."

"But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought."

"I've been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library."
Explore more quotes by Todd Barry


"I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right."


"I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all."


"Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself."


"I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport."
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